Perspective

We recently put Angel May, our dog, to sleep. Long story short, she was loyal and protective to the end. The problem is, did we do the right thing? I know deep down in my heart that we did, but some days that is of little comfort to me. On those days, I struggle with the usual: Guilt, shame, regret, anger, grief, sadness, loss, etc... I love my animals dearly and this was very hard to swallow given the circumstances.
At times like this, I have to remind myself to put things into perspective.
Just yesterday, my brother told me that a lady he works with lost her 8 month old daughter in the Oklahoma City Bombings 15 years ago on April 19th. Now THAT is unfathomable to me and I bet she suffered, and still suffers, from all of the things I listed above and more. She lost her child!
April 20th was the 11th anniversary of the Columbine shootings. Again, THAT is loss. All those families who lost their kids under those circumstances!
I can grieve for my beloved pet, but I have to keep in mind that those people lost their flesh and blood...

Just the other night, I was beyond "irritated" with Sky because she had been on a tear all day, threw a screaming fit in the car, kicking and screaming and yelling at me. She is hardly ever quiet and was talking my ear off all day. Typical two year old behavior.
Then I looked up on the refrigerator and saw the invitation for a charity golf tournament that my husband played in last year. The proceeds benefit a little boy named Gavin who has a brain defect that doesn't allow the two sides of his brain to "talk" to each other. The result is a sweet looking little boy who will never communicate normally, does not have normal motor skills, is confined to a wheelchair and may never "grow up." I bet his parents would LOVE to have the "problems" I have with my child.
I need to keep in mind that all of the things that make a two year old a handful, are things that I take for granted...

The last thing I want to say is that pregnancy comes with a whole list of complaints. Most days out of the week I am nauseous, I have to get up a thousand times during the night to use the bathroom, I am already sleep deprived so that doesn't help. My fingers swell up randomly and look like sausages, I am cranky and moody, I get tired very easily and the list goes on.
Again, there are women out there who would give anything to be me and feel my symptoms. I have to consider myself lucky that not only am I a "fertile Myrtle," but also that this is the second pregnancy I have been blessed with.
I will never know what it feels like to want a child so much and not be able to have one of my own...